Handling criticism and praise as an author
For anyone putting their work into the world
“Make me neither a hero nor a villain, both live within all of us.” — Legends of Lemuria
The Villain’s Journey
I’ve had an online presence since I was sixteen years old. Imagine your brain has all the development and foresight of a kumquat, and suddenly you are speaking to a stadium of hundreds of thousands of people each day. I’m honestly shocked I managed to stick with writing, let alone become a human being with an emotional range larger than a teaspoon.
Criticism hurts, yes. Who wants to be digitally burnt at the stake by a bunch of internet trolls with zero accountability? I am reminded of the Teddy Roosevelt quote, “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood…..who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
I have never met another writer who is judgmental in the way a faceless ghost account who has never picked up a pen can be.
BUT, there is another side to this, and one I do not see talked about often.
The Heroes Journey
We know the dangers of villainizing other people, but what about making a hero out of them? Anyone we turn into an idol is robbed of their humanity. They become a symbol, trapped within a gilded cage of perfection. Cancel culture has become an environment in which we are personal brands made into legends, and legends are larger than life. They are not allowed to be in the weeds and trenches of earning their wisdom through making mistakes.
When a person becomes a symbol, they are one dimensional. I have felt this in my own way as a writer. Praise is just as harmful to the artist as criticism, it is simply more subtle. If we are greenlit for everything we do after hitting a certain amount of success, we won’t take our craft as seriously. People stop telling us the truth. Our growth is stunted.
After my book signing, I looked at my best friend and said, “Now what?” He shrugged and said, “Finish the next book and then write some more. If you read praise you won’t take the craft seriously enough. If you are crippled by criticism you won’t pick up your pen. You have a responsibility to your gift, and to the people who read your work to keep going.”
I have a small group of friends who are fantastic writers. One is a genius level screen writer, and the other is a masterful poet who just finished his first memoir (it is GUT wrenching). They are who I ask the opinions of, because I respect their voices and know they care about my work being the best it can be.
The pumpkin and the glass slipper
We all slip in and out of what I call the pumpkin and the glass slipper. Glass slipper moments are something of the divine—when all details weave together perfectly for a stretch of time that is brimming with synchronicity and hope. The dots connect, and we understand why things happened the way they did. We step onto the stage (whatever our personal stage looks like), and shine bright as the sun. That leg of the heroes journey is completed. Some people call the glass slipper the “Higher Self,” I prefer the symbolism of fairytales.
Once the glass slipper moment passes, we become pumpkins once more. I used to despise this, but now I love it. The pumpkin moments are grounding. They are the day to day challenges of writing our books and improving our craft.
Too much time spent in the glass slipper world strips us of our humanity. No one can relate to us, because we are no longer of the earth. We’re Cinderella at an eternal ball, and there is too much smoke being blown up our ass. There is no Life/Death/Life process, which is precisely what is required to make meaningful art. We have to submerge into the darkness of our inner landscape and mine the gold in our psyche before returning with what we find.
And yet, the possibility of a glass slipper moment is what inspires us to risk facing ourselves. Without the hope of a dream coming true, there is no reason to bump up against resistance. There is no reason to square off with self-doubt and shut out everyone else’s opinion. There is no reason to feel the circulation in your legs get cut off from hours spent puzzling over a maddening story.
Life is seasonal, especially the life of an artist. Gift yourself the grace of change, and try not to pay attention to anyone who hasn’t done what it is you are trying to do.
If you want a healthy escape from a flawed heroine full of dragons, ancient assassins and more: read my book Legends of Lemuria, officially available now!
https://www.amazon.com/Legends-Lemuria-Bridge-Allie-Michelle-ebook/dp/B0CZYJVBWB
Your friendly neighborhood scribe,
Allie